“GROWTH AND WORK.”
BY F.A.
In the life of
the Christian, as he yearns after holiness, and struggles against sin, there
are times when he has an overwhelming sense of his vileness in the presence of
the purity of God, while his soul longs to be otherwise, and he becomes
conscious of a duality in his existence. The tendency of the one self is
upward; of the other, the reverse. These two selves are opposing
forces in his soul-life. One, lark-like, would soar with him away up into the
heavens and trill out its joyous song I the pure sunlight of God; but the
other, as a dead weight hangs heavily upon him, until, as if tired and
exhausted, the spread pinions drop lifeless and down he falls. Then he is
constrained to cry out with the apostle, “Oh, wretched man that I am; who shall
deliver me from the body of this death?” The living yearns for a divorce from
the dead; it turns away in loathing and disgust, and would be forever
freed-forgetting the discipline which the Master would have him learn from this
uncongenial union.
Feeling keenly
the power of these two opposing selves in self, a letter was penned,
while in a post despondent mood, to a friend expressing utter self-abhorrence,
etc. Extracts from the reply received, may prove helpful. It begins: “Your
letter was doleful indeed, and as you wished me to write, if only to scold you,
I will begin by scolding, for richly do you deserve it. How dare you
abuse any friend of mine, and that to my face, too, as you did…? Know you not,
that he is a friend of mine, and not one whit like the man you, in your
jaundiced condition, imagine him to be…? You are not to speak of the beautiful
temple in which he abides as a vile, polluted dead carcase. It is no such
thing, but a wonderfully, carefully-constructed temple for the Holy Ghost to
dwell in, and you are its keeper – your duty to keep to clean inside and out,
to make it as attractive as you can that other may see that the Lord’s
habitation is not neglected. You say, ‘Do not let me depress you.’ You cannot.
I do not ‘look within’ nor ‘inquire within,’ else I should be subject to moods
and tenses far worse than yours. I have once recognized that I am the
Lord’s. I now leave myself to Him to mind, and I simply go on my way rejoicing.”
Is not the
self-abandonment the secret of the bright, happy, cheerful lives of some of
God’s children, even in the midst of the worst unpromising circumstances? We
sometimes make too much effort in ourselves to grow, to become holy. Whereas by
simply placing ourselves in the Lord’s hands allowing Him to “fashion us” as He
will, we would make much more rapid progress, and would not be forever
comforted with that miserable dead self, to discourage and cast us down.
To realize that the Master has accepted us, and has undertaken our
sanctification through the Spirit, will relieve us form a world of sorry as to
self, and give us time to work for Him in helping others. So long as we go
groaning beneath the weight of our own sins and imperfections, we make ourselves
miserable, distrust the Lord and are all but useless in His service. An
occasional glimpse of self will keep down pride, but the picture is not such a
lovely one that we should study over it much. “For every one look we
give at our own hearts, we should give a thousand at Christ,” and one who
followed the Master very closely. This may appear contrary to the spirit of the
apostle’s injunction to “grow in grace.” Not so; the greater our passivity
in the Lord’s hands, the greater our activity in laboring for Him-for
His will works through us unhindered,-and the greater our consequent growth. It
requires less effort on our part to grow than we imagine. The great
effort is to refrain from effort. It is often harder to sit still and
wait than to be up and working; yet this waiting is often the very best
training school through which we can pass, if we but “wait” at the feet of the
Great Teacher. Instance Moses’ forty years’ patient waiting amongst his
father-in-law’s flock after he though himself well fitted for the deliverance
of his people. Those forty years completely emptied him of self, and, oh, how
thoroughly he became filled with the Spirit. Ruskin, comparing the vital
Christianity of the early Church with its present lack, writes, “The Life of the
Believer became, in some degree, separated form the Life of Christ; and his
virtue, instead of being stream flowing forth from the throne of God, and
descending upon the earth, began to be regarded by him as a pyramid upon earth,
which he had to build up step by step, that from the top if it he might reach
the Heavens.”
To quote once
more from my friend’s letter: “You complain of not being used enough for the
Master, etc. How would you judge any one’s love for yourself if that one
constantly turned from your embrace, saying, ‘I do love you, oh yes, but I must
do something to show it,’ and running form you, would go to work for
you, would you not get to hate the work that took your beloved from
you?-even if that work were done in all love for you. Would you not rather have
the quiet hour alone… each simply content with the rest in the other’s
love and presence…? Is our Lord different form us in this? No, my friend,
believe me. He is just such a man. He loves us to come to Him, to be
alone, quietly with Him; and it is because we are so little with Him in this
loving way, that we work so clumsily and bear so little fruit It is form such
interviews or contact with our Lord that we go froth strong in His love
to help His sick and sorry ones. It is being hot, as it were, with such love
that makes us women take to our hearts and arms repulsive, wretched children,
and low, fallen and degraded men and women. Loving our Lord, we must love all
mankind for His dear sake… Rest awhile with the lord; He has many things to say
unto thee. He would have you rest beside Him awhile, till you glow with His
love… He was always misunderstood, don’t you add one feather more to this
burden of His, he might have to say, ‘Have I been so long time with you and yet
hast though not known Me?’ You would not like Him to say, ‘Hereafter I will not
take much with you’! Nay, nay dear Lord, but come to F…. and to me, as Thou
didst to the old home at Bethany, there to rest Thyself, and always be
sure of a welcome… Give this dear Lord a little pleasure, sit quietly beside
the still waters, and let Him lead thee into His green pastures; when He
is ready, He will say, ‘Son, go, work to-day.’”
