MY EXPERIENCE[Continued]
BY A.W.P.
“Now may the very God of peace sanctify you wholly… Faithful is He that calleth you, Who also will do it.”
While listening to the recital of my unknown visitor’s experience, and especially while listening to the reading of the Word, I wept and trembled. He seemed to me to be a messenger sent by God to make known unto me the way of full salvation at the precise moment when I was hungering for it an yet could not tell what it was that I lacked, or how I might obtain that “perfect peace” which the inspired prophet says that God will give too the mind which is stayed on Him.-(Isa. xxvi: 3.) It seemed too glorious, to wonderful a thing for me to grasp. My unworthiness rested like a heavy weight upon me. I felt afraid to allow myself to think that full salvation could possibly be for me! But after we had knelt in prayer, my courage was revived, and I solemnly promised the brother that I would seek the blessing of holiness, and confessed to him that I began to see what it was enjoined upon us in the Word of God. One thing was very certain, I felt that I had never yet received it, and it seemed equally certain from the story he had related, from his whole appearance, his very countenance, that he had received it. After some further conversation, he left, saying he would call again soon and bring me some books which he felt sure would help to enlighten me.
I went about the house like one in a dream the remainder of the day. The whole interview seemed so mysterious, so marvelous. I felt that God was indeed leading me by a way I knew not. Deeply thankful, but still in darkness, I cast myself at His feet before retiring to rest that night, and implored Him, if it was indeed His will to grant me this longed-for deliverance, to prove it to me by some passage from His Word, that I might feel assured that it was from Him. I then opened the Bible and read these words: “The Lord hath taken away thy judgments, He hath cast out thine enemy: the King of Israel, even the Lord, is in the midst of thee; thou shalt not see evil any more…The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love, he will joy over thee with singing.”-(Zeph. iii:15,17.) These wonderful words seemed more than I could grasp. I read them over and over again, in a sort of bewilderment. I thought, “Why, the Lord says He has cast out my enemy. He does not say that He will do so at some future time, but that He has already done so! My enemy is sin. Can’t it be possible that He has answered my prayer almost before I have offered it?” I did not think then of the promise which comes to me at this moment as I write: “Before they call upon Me I will answer, and while they are yet speaking I will hear.” Satan tried to make me feel that my opening the Bible to this passage was purely accidental. I asked if I might have another verse to convince me that this was truly form the Lord and meant for me. This time the Bible opened to Hosea ii:19, “And I will betroth thee unto Me forever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving-kindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto Me in faithfulness; and thou shalt know the Lord.” I asked the Lord to bear with me yet a little long are and grant me one more assurance from His Word. This time my eye fell upon the words, “From this day I will bless thee!”
I closed the Bible and lay quietly down to sleep. There was no excitement, not great joy, not exultation whatever. I simply felt that I had earnestly prayer for something from the Word to help me see the way of full salvation and desired light upon the subject more than anything else in the world, it certainly could not have been by accident that I should turn at once to thee such remarkable passages, so strong, so comforting, so personal. I felt that the dear Lord could never mock one of His needy children, and I knew that I was one of that class, and had cried unto Him out of the depths of my soul. I said, “It is enough. I am satisfied. These promises are for me, if I wilt claim them by simple faith.”
But, dear reader, I did not learn how to do this until about a year from that time. In the meanwhile fierce storms swept over my life, Faith almost lost her footing, and I was for a time in darkness and great anguish of the mind. Finally I was led, through the repeated solicitations of a friend, to attend a holiness meeting, where a little band of consecrated ones from various demonstrations assembled once a week to talk of Jesus and His power to save. The testimonies I heard there greatly encouraged and strengthened me, and After attending it a few weeks, the day came when I was led to kneel in their midst and publically consecrate all to God, and I believe that He would “keep that which I had committed unto Him” as long as I felt it all in His hands.
I remember saying to my pastor, by whom the meeting was conducted, that if I allowed myself to look forward through the coming months and years, I felt myself sinking immediately, overwhelmed with the fear that I should not be able to endure unto the end, but that I now saw, as I had never done before, that all I needed was to trust in Jesus to keep me for the present moment or the present hour, and then for the next, and so on throughout the day. This seemed a very sweet and simple life to live.
That was a memorable day. From that time I set out in a life of trust, and since then I have thoroughly enjoyed my religion. I have had times of such great joy that my heart seemed almost bursting with praise, and upon various occasions I have received powerful baptisms of the Holy Ghost. I recall one Sabbath morning in class-meeting, when it appeared to me for a moment that the very room was shaken by the power of the Lord and also a morning at the house of the editor of this journal, when the Spirit descended upon me with wonderful power while engaged in prayer, so much so that I begged the Lord to stay His hand, for it seemed more than the body could bear.
[To be concluded.]
