IN
AN ACCEPTABLE TIME.
BY HELEN F. DAWLLY.
I
will here give an account of my wonderful restoration from protracted sickness,
in answer to the “prayer of faith.” After a decline in health for about two
years, I was compelled to retire from the busy scenes of life and enter upon a
dreary season of pain and languishing, which continued, with an occasional
abatement of few weeks’ duration, for ten years. My disease was congestion of
the spine with all its attending evils. Sometimes I was confined entirely to
the bed; in more favorable conditions I walked upon my knees or with crutches,
and sat up a part of the time, and at my best could only walk a few rods, with
much difficulty and bad results.
Medicine
usually aggravated my disease, till I finally abandoned it altogether, and
there seemed to be no hope for me. It was very clear that I could not endure
exercise, and I thought that if I could obtain a rolling chair I could get
about a little without overdoing, and, possibly, recruit somewhat. I began to
pray for this, but God presently showed me a more excellent way. How true it is
that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts.
One
morning, upon waking, these words, “Thou restrainest prayer before God,” came
suddenly to my mind with great force; then, in a moment, these followed, “and
limitest the holy One of Israel.” It was so strange and unexpected, that I
questioned within myself what this might mean, but I could only find one
answer. I was thus pictured out to myself as one who did not pray enough, and
who limited the power of God by my unbelief. This timely warning stirred me up
to know the whole will of God concerning me. I began to be more watchful and
prayerful, and not in vain. Soon a lady came to see me. Who, in the course of
her visit, asked me what I thought of the promise in James,- “The prayer of
faith shall save the sick.” I replied that I had prayed much for health, but as
it was still withheld, I concluded that it was the will of God that is should
suffer. But my answer did not seem to satisfy her. She urged me to think
seriously about the matter, adding that if it was my privilege to be healed by
faith I ought to know it, that I might appropriate the promise and be raised
up.
From
this time I kept the matter before the Lord in almost constant prayer,
promising to believe the Word if it should be revealed to me that I ought so to
do. Very soon I was persuaded in my soul that I would be healed, and later I
was convinced that it was my solemn duty to be well. I felt that the great
Physician was indeed near, offering me a healing portion, and great would be my
responsibility if I rejected if by my unbelief. A few days later, on a Sabbath
morning, while praying and yielding myself up to the Spirit’s sweet control, I suddenly
had such a view of my compassionate Saviour as I had never before. He
appeared to be so moved with pity for me
that He could barely refrain from coming to my aid, but in deference to the
Father’s will He restrained Himself. I meekly submitted to my lot and fell
adoring at His feet. I did not then see why the promised boon was withheld, but
subsequently learned that my faith was to be still further tried. The next day
I did not feel so much drawn out in prayer for health, but still my soul was happy
in God. Soon after this, on the twenty-third of May, 1880, I was suffering much
pain, but as my housemaid was already overburdened with work, I did not like to
ask her to bring dinner to my bed. I therefore arose, and partially dressing
myself, made my way to the table with much effort; but I could scarcely sit up
long enough to partake of my necessary food. After eating, I moved myself along
in my chair to the lounge, and sat there with my face in my hands, bowed down
with pain and sadness.
Presently
a voice in my soul began to be heard. “Why no believe now?” was the question. “What,” said I, “When I am in so much
pain?” “Yes, even now,” said the voice, “Have you not promised to believe?”
“Surely I have,” I replied, “but when I believe I must act accordingly. I am
not now able to stand on my feet, and if I believe now, I will have to get up
and walk, and will not that be presumption? Will I not bring increased
suffering upon myself by so doing? But, O Lord, if I ought to believe, under
these circumstances, then I will; see Thou to it.” Then, instead of getting
down upon my knees, and thus crawling to my room, as I thought I must do, I
stood erect, and walked firmly along with perfect ease! Thus I received help
for that undertaking, but not realizing that the disease was already rebuked, I
continued to my supplications after reaching my room, fully expecting to be
healed with accompanying manifestations. For this I waited, and wondered they
did not come. But the voice simply said, “Go forward.” Then I realized that I
was not to wait for any evidence, by going forward and acting out my faith, I
should receive strength. And, praise the Lord! I did. Laying aside all
supports, such as I had depended upon, I rose to my feet, stood and dressed
myself more carefully, took some sewing in my hands, and taking a seat on the
piazza, sat up and worked until night. Several times I had occasion to try my
strength. I would lose my needle and have to look for another, or the wind,
which was strong, would blow a part of my work away from me, and I would have
to go after it. Later, in the afternoon, I walked around in different rooms,
and undertook some light work, for all of which my strength was sufficient.
From that time my improvement was rapid for about three months, when, having a
sever trial to pass through, I became greatly bewildered. There was a tremor in
my soul; my faith for continued strength forsook me, and I sunk down on a bed
of sickness again for a season. I doubt not but my Joshua would have led me
safely through, had my confidence remained unshaken; still I seemed to have an
intimation that the Lord would raise me up again by the same Word which He has
declare should not return unto Him void, and in this I was not deceived, as the
sequel will show.
By
the blessing of God I was healed the second time, after suffering relapse of seven months’ duration, being
confined to my bed almost wholly. Having read an account in the N.C. Advocate, concerning Mrs. Yorks, of
Honeoye Falls, whose voice had been suddenly restored in answer to prayer, I
felt that blessed condition from which I had fallen through ignorance and
unbelief.
I
immediately wrote to Mrs. Yorks and soon received a sweet letter, in which she
advised me to send for the precious little book, entitled the “Prayer of
Faith.” I did so and received the same the fourteenth of March, and soon
devoured its contents.
I
am much given to reasoning, but I accepted of every word written therein, as
though ti had been an inspired volume. The next morning, I abstained from food
and laid my case before the Lord. I reminded Him, so to speak, that He had once
shown me that it was His blessed ill that I should be no longer helpless, and
now I had lost my assurance, through unbelief, I wished him to indulge me once
more with a revelation of His will. Directly the answer was given while I was
repeating His dear name. A voice said, chidingly, “Why call ye me Lord, Lord,
and do not the things which I say?” I could plead no more, nor even take the
name of the Lord upon my lips, until I could promise to believe. After a
momentary struggle, I said simply, “Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief.”
Instantly
these words were given me for my encouragement: “And if we know that He heareth
us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of
Him.”
I
could no longer doubt the willingness of my indulgent Parent to give me the
coveted blessing, and then, as if “to make assurance doubly sure,” these words,
“All is yours,” were set to the seal. From that hour I felt a strong persuasion
that I would soon be loosed of my infirmity.
The
next day I received Miss Judd’s kind letter which stated that I would be
remembered in her faith-meeting, Thursday evening at eight o’clock, I could
then see when the work would be wrought, which I had not been able to determine
hitherto.
Thursday,
after breakfast (which I took in bed), I set apart the remainder of the day for
fasting and prayer. I suffered all day in an unusual degree, besides being
faint for the want of food. But whenever I felt that nature clamored too
loudly, I asked the Lord to enable me to continue the sacrifice until I could
claim that the work was done, and then I would be so sustained that I would not
feel the need of food. Thus I continued until the clock struck eight, at which
time I was so entirely destitute of emotion of any kind that I could easily
have let the whole matter pass and fallen asleep; but I had promised the Lord
that I would believe should He reveal to me nothing more, and I knew also that
important issues were poised upon my decision. In consideration thereof, I
thanked God for His faithfulness to His part of the covenant, and dared to
reckon that the work was done without any evidence.
I
immediately rose from my bed, went to the pantry, partook of some refreshment,
and returned to the sitting-room considerable relieved. Soon after, I made my
bed and all necessary preparations for retiring without the usual assistance;
and when I lay me down to sleep, it was without bodily discomfort. The next
morning my enemy told me that it would be presumption for me to rise, but I
heeded him not, believing that my Joshua would carry me through, and, blessed
be His name He did, and has ever since. I have been able to work every day
since, and am growing stronger gradually all the time; and, though I have had
many a hard battle while endeavoring to fight the fight of faith, I have, in
the name of the Lord, come off more than conqueror, besides being greatly
comforted spiritually.
“I am saved, the Lord hath saved me!
Help me shout the
glorious news;
I have tasted God’s salvation,
And ‘tis sweet as honied
dews.”
Jordanville, N.Y., August, 1881.
